I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
