Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
