Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
