I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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