you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
