How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
