so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
