So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
