I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I need moral support for this bender
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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