Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
