i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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