he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
