I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize