I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
