Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize