Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
