For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
