we have pet lesbian snakes
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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