Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
