i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
