I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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