she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Randomize
