I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
