I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
