I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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