I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
