and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
