were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what day is it and did you see me today?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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