I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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