Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
