It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
