What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just tell him i said nine months
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
