oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize