you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The uberlube is also flammable
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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