I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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