You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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