are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
