I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
