He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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