I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
