He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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