sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
