Plan B is the new Plan A
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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