p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
