some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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