so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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