are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
