Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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