bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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