Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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