True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
