Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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