I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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