I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
