I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
